Not Ready Yet
by MadalineWylar
Summary: John tells Sherlcok he loves him...but Sherlock says he's not quite "there" yet. Rated M for later chapters. Obviously John/Sherlock.
1. Chapter 1

Hello everyone! This is my second slash story…I'm nervous about this one because it's my first multi chapter slash story. Please review!

-Madaline

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John POV

"Sherlock, I'm just going to say it. I've been holding this in too long to ignore it any longer."

"Okay then, say it."

I took a deep breath, readying myself. Sherlock tried to turn back to his experiment, which I had interrupted. Clearing my throat, I demanded his attention but he motioned with his hand to continue. Oh well, maybe that would make it easier.

Today was the day. I was just going to say it. Just say it, John! Quick, like ripping off a bandage. I could feel myself sweating as Sherlock's gaze bore into me. God, I was sop nervous. _Just say it!_

"Sherlock, I love you."

He raised his head now, but didn't look directly at me. He had no expression and clearly wasn't going to answer, so I continued.

"Don't worry about it though. Not that you would anyways, I know you aren't exactly able to feel anything. But I had to tell you. I'm sorry. I'll-"

"Don't say you are leaving, John. That's dumb."

He stood up and leaned forward slightly, pinning where I stood with his glare.

"Sherlock-"

"John, I might not love you yet but I definitely feel something. Leaving would only cause me to forget that, which isn't in the best interest for either of us. I benefit from you as you do from me. Therefore, we need each other. Now, I'm very busy, if I could just continue my experiment…" he trailed off.

I was speechless.

"Sherlock, you're going to have to explain."

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This is all I have time to type for now…please enjoy. We will be getting to slash in later chapters.

-Madaline.


	2. Chapter 2

PLEASE REVIEW ~ if you add me to your favorites or put me on author/story alert, please review! Thanks for reading so far…

-Madaline

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"Okay, I'll try to explain but I'm a bit confused myself. Basically, I think I could love you if I spent more time to you. If I gave you more attention and such, I think I would fall in love with you. But if you leave, that obviously isn't going to happen."

"So you don't love me, but you like me."

"Well, it's more than like, but not quite love."

"That's what I meant."

"No it isn-"

"Yes it is. Just stop."

"Fine."

He turned away from me again and back to his experiment. I guess the conversation was over. Well, maybe a walk could clear my mind.

"I'm headed out."

"I'll miss you." He called, jokingly.

"Oh, shut up."

I slammed the door.

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That night I had a hard time sleeping. I tossed and turned in bed until I finally fell asleep and it wasn't even a peaceful sleep. Sherlock was invading my dreams, but without clothes and without the censors I usually supplied my mind with.

Whenever I imagined him…_like this…_I always stopped myself before I could go too far. But in my dreams, there were no limits, and I couldn't tell what was reality and what was fiction, as it usually is with dreams. Damn my imaginative mind.

"I love you." He whispered to me. Our heads were close, his forehead resting on mine. His breath smelled wonderful, as I imagined it would.

Slowly, he moved his hands from their place on my back to my chest and then further down as he removed my shirt. He tore off his own shirt then started on his trousers. He discarded them, leaving on only his shorts. I could clearly see his arousal through the thin material.

I kissed down his neck as my own trousers were taken off. I couldn't wait nay longer and I removed his shorts.

Kneeling, I took him into my mouth. He moaned loudly.

"Shhh. Mrs. Hudson will hear." I said, temporarily removing my mouth from him. I turned my attention back to him and ran my tongue along the length of him. I was sure I could come just from hearing him call my name.

"Oh!" he cried as I took him in further.

"John…John, stop."

I obeyed and he looked at me with want. I had no idea, what, exactly, he wanted but he wanted it bad.

"Fuck me. Just do it. Please. I can't wait."

His intense eyes bore into me and I tried not to show him just how bad I wanted it, too.

Just as I was about to reach for the lube, I woke up.

"_Fuck!_ Shit, shit, _shit_." I swore. I was so close!

It didn't matter now. I couldn't fall back asleep after waking up from _that. _I wasn't worried about getting to sleep anyways. Right now, I was mainly concerned with my very visible hard on. Damn Sherlock for being so fucking _sexy. _

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Please review. \

-Madaline.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for taking so long to update…I've been working on uni applications and such. But those are done now so expect faster updates.

-Madaline

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When I came down the stairs after my 'rude awakening' I was attacked by Sherlock. He seemed to come out of nowhere and pinned me to the wall. His hands held my wrists above my head. If I wasn't careful, I could get yet _another_…uh, problem.

He rested his forehead against mine and stared at me.

"Sherlock, what are you doing?"

"Well, when we are a couple we're going to be like this. Why don't we jump to it? We both want it. People have sex without love. It just happens."

My stomach filled with butterflies as I realized that I would eventually have sex with the man in front of me. But I couldn't do it now. It was too soon for this. I could barely breathe.

"Well not now. It's not going to happen now. Later, Sherlock. I won't sleep with you if you don't love me. That's final."

He looked at me a long moment and took his hands off of my wrists. Gently he took my face in his hands and kissed beside my mouth then right on it. It was a slow form of torture.

"What was that for?"

"People can still kiss even if they are not sleeping together. Besides, I wanted to. It's the next step to loving you."

"You're pathetic. What's the step after this then?"

"Asking you out. Would you like to join me for dinner tonight?"

"Sure."

I eagerly grabbed my coat and followed him out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

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When we got to the restaurant, Sherlock held the door for me as I stepped inside. I was actually in shock.  
"Just because you're pretending to love me doesn't mean you have to act different. I'm sure I can open doors, Sherlock."

"Yes, that is true, but I wanted to open for you. It seemed like the gentlemanly thing to do. And I'm not pretending, I'm getting used to it Angelo!" he called to him as we took our seat at our regular table, "A candle please."

"You mean-"

Sherlock nodded and Angelo smiled at mean, nudging me with his elbow.

"Congratulations! As usual, anything you want on the house. I'll get that candle right away. Can I interest you in a bit of wine?"

"Sure. That would be lovely." I said.

Angelo bustled off towards the kitchen, glancing back at us and giving me he thumbs up. I laughed as he went through the doors to the back of the restaurant. Sherlock moved closer to me at our seat by the window. I like the close proximity but still found it awkward.

"So, what do people do on the first date?" Sherlock asked.

"Well, they get to know each other, I suppose. You already know everything about me so why don't you do the talking."

"Ask me a question."

"Talk about your family."

"No."

"Look, Sherlock, if we are going to be a couple, I'll have to find out eventually."

He took a deep breath and began.

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Sorry about that not being finished…I'm at the library and people need the computers….DAMN THEM! UGH! But anyways…please review!


	5. Chapter 5

Please review!

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"Fine. I'll tell you. My mother and I get along and Mycroft ad my mother get along, but Mycroft and I do _not _get along. It makes mummy upset that we fight. Our father is dead. Oh, but don't look like that. It's a good thing."

"Can I meet her one day? Your mother?"

"Of course. That's step three. Meeting parents. What about your family? You might think I know lots about you but I really don't"

"Both parents dead. It's me and Harry now."

Angelo came to take our orders, interrupting our conversation. I was grateful for the convenient time. Before he left, he winked at us. I found it amazing how someone could be so genuinely happy for two people when one of them wasn't themselves. I know I probably wouldn't think anything of it if I were in Angelo's place.

I smiled as he left.

"What are you smiling at?"

"Nothing. Just Angelo. Why?"

"Oh, no reason really. I just thought you were looking at some other guy. But I only thought that for a second. So it's nothing, really."

"Sherlock, we're not even in a bloody relationship yet and you think I'm cheating on you already? I'm not that kind of man."

"Oh. Thank you. So…John, you play rugby. Tell me about it."

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The rest of our meal was had in light conversation about everyday life. I liked it. We didn't talk about anything too serious or too dark. And no case-talk. It was nice. I had the best first date of my life, despite it being a little awkward. But all first dates were.

When we got home, Sherlock took his jacket off and went to sit on the sofa. I brought us some tea and sat beside him. He moved closer to me awkwardly.

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Sorry for the short update…again. Gotta go write on someone's locker. BYE!


	6. Chapter 6

Very sorry for taking so long to update. I've been sick lately. I promise I will have an update within the next couple days after this one.

-Madaline

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Sherlock moved over to me awkwardly and rested his head on my shoulder. I admit, it wasn't at all undesirable.

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to kiss you but I want more. I think, John, that I love you."

My heart leapt in my chest. He leaned up to meet my lips with his but I turned away, using all my strength to do so.

"You think you love me? Or do you _know _you love me? Because I don't want you to love me then reject me the next day. I can't take that."

He looked at me seriously, examining my expression. Meanwhile my head felt as if it would explode. I couldn't take much more of this. Why did he always have to think of every answer? Why couldn't he just say yes or no?

Slowly, he took my head in his hands and kissed me, not allowing me to turn away.

"It took a while to realize it, but when I saw you looking away, I just couldn't allow myself to let you go to another man. I love you, John."

I took a moment to think, then realized no words were more appropriate than: "Let's go to bed"

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Next chapter will be all smut…promise!


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